Jonathan Brun

On Lived Experience

I once read a blog post by someone who was deeply affected by a video they found on YouTube. In their excitement, they showed this video to a close friend hoping to elicit a similar experience in their friend. The friend was not terribly impressed and was certainly not impacted in the same way as the first person. This failure to create an impact on a friend ironically had an impact on me. It helped me understand that we all react and appreciate things very differently, even if we seem to have similar interests and proclivities. Our lived experience and our genetic make up predispose us to very different reactions in similar situations. As simple and obvious as this sounds, it was a revelation for me.

I am currently reading the excellent book by John J. Mearsheimer, “The Great Delusion: Liberal Dreams and International Realities”. In the first part of this book about the fallacy of international liberalism he defines the two core human traits that determine so much of our societies. First, humans are fundamentally social creatures and we are affected primarily by our social environment and our networks of family, friends, community and nation. Secondly, that even within a liberal society there is a very wide variety of assessments of what constitutes the Good Life. His first point seems obvious to me, but the second point is even more interesting.

The Good Life is something I have come to realize is very different for people who, on the surface, seem to share so much. Some people focus on fame and fortune, while many are happy with a modest and stable job, others are motivated by social contribution while many have no interest in contributing to society in any meaningful way. Some dodge taxes while others dutifully comply. Some buy expensive cars (whether they can afford them or not) while others run old rust boxes into the ground. Many of these people come from similar background, cultures and families sand yet behave in radically different ways. I see the same surprising divergence of behaviour amongst parents who have similar public facing values, but raise their children in very different ways. All this happens variety of decision every day, everywhere, in societies that you would think would have more conformity than they really do. It is remarkable, fascinating and certainly a good thing.

There is no doubt that so much of who we are comes from our lived experience. But more than the lived experience, we are most certainly predisposed by nature to certain experiences or sensations. I can already see radical differences between my own children. There is a concept in genetics of dormant genes. These genes, hard coded into our genome, lay dormant and only manifest themselves under certain conditions – good or bad. This can be both positive or negative. We can have dormant genes that only activate when stimulated with external chemicals (think drug addition) or internal ones (think gambling), we can have genes that determine if we take flight or fight under pressure and much more. We can have dormant genes that traverse generations without us even realizing we carry them. In sum, our genetic predisposition to experience seems to be far more flexible that we originally understood it to be. Who we are depends on our genes, our lived experience, and our choices in those circumstances. Even our own definition of what is The Good Life can change dramatically over time.

Much of our young life is inevitably dominated by our childhood experiences and the behaviour and expectations of our parents. In today’s modern era, most people live until young adulthood with their immediate families, who heavily influence on how a young person perceives the world. The impact from your immediate family – positive or negative – is lasting and in many cases people never escape the constraints of their upbringing. Even those who do take a divergent path from their families usually do so progressively and over an extended period of time. Occasionally, it can happen at a younger age. A friend of mine grew up in a highly religious family who home schooled their six children, but when he started questioning the Bible and what his parents were telling him, he was shipped off to public school – never to return to the family’s intellectual bubble. His five siblings continued to be home schooled and turned into adults who followed most of their parents beliefs. The young rebel moved to the satanic city of New York and decided to vote democrat, a true heresy by his parents standards. Some percentage of people make dramatic intellectual shifts from their parents, but many do not. We are undoubtedly formed by our family environment. Our religion is almost always that of our parents, for not other reason that the location of our birth as Richard Dawkins explained well here.

Establishing your own world view, separated from those who raised you can often take decades. In many ways you need to deconstruct what you experience to then rebuild a new view of the world and yourself. There are no shortage of self-help books and gurus in this field of endeavour – but it is an introspective journey that people need to decide to take. Beyond deconstruction of oneself which can be exhausting and risky (you never know what you mind find), the next best thing I have identified as a path forward is to expose yourself to a wide array of lived experiences. This is not difficult to do, but it requires a basic level of effort. Every single person you meet has a unique story and point of view and every book, article, video and resource can bring you something novel and interesting. The challenge is to let yourself be exposed. Just yesterday, I met a fellow parent at the park who told me his unique story that I can now incorporate into my own worldview.

Too often and perhaps more than before, we life in a bubble where our social media feeds us information, we do not spend extended periods of uninterrupted time with new people due to our dependence on the internet and our fragmented days. Probably today is not much worse than before when you were trapped by the smallness of your local village and religious institute. In the excellent movie Brooklyn, a young woman returns to her native Irish village and thinks of staying. A local matron of the village oversteps and tries to tell this young woman what to do. Realizing that staying in her native Irish village will condemn her to live her parent’s life, she returns to America where the horizon is open. We have isolated ourselves from the lived experience of others. Learning takes time.

Time is critical. By spending time with others, you can effectively transfer the learned experience of others into your own person. When it is a family member, the impact can be even more memorable and lived experiences can transfer between generations. I was lucky enough to spend a good amount of time with my paternal grandparents, who were able to tell me stories about their own lives and upbringing. They even shared stores about their parents and those stories transferred to me. A couple small example was my grandmother who lost a brother in the first world war. The French soldiers at the start of the war were sent off in beautiful bright red coloured pants. It was of course critical that the French go to battled in style. He, along with hundreds of thousands of other young men, were promptly shot by the Germans as their red pants made them easily stand out in the muddy battlefields of Europe. This story, which was told to me by my grandmother deeply reinforced my believe in the stupidity of political leaders who decide to go to war. This same grandmother also explained how she had grown up on a large estate in Brittany, France, but that estate was later sold to the owners of a large grocery store chain. Her family went from a prestigious family to an average middle class family. The family’s crime was their inability to adapt from a agricultural based economy to a commercial and industrial one. They failed to see how commerce and industry would supplant the wealth of the landed aristocracy. The lesson I learned was to constantly be looking for changes in the economy and where the wind is blowing. I could go on and on, but suffice to say the experience of my grandmother and her shared memories with me had a significant influence on my understanding of the world.

In sum, we are who we are due to our active genes, our dormant genes, our experiences and the experiences of those we spend time with. It is a messy soup of information, feelings and reactions that lead us to become who we are today and who we may be tomorrow. Knowing upside from down or why we do things a certain way requires reflection and examination. As Plato said in the Apology, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”, but I also really like Werner Herzog who explained that too much examination is not good either. He explained the stupidity of psychoanalysis and too much examination in the following way. Imagine living in a house where every corner of that house is constantly illuminated with light, allowing you to see every centimetre, every crack and every pile of dust. It would drive the sane man mad. So, as I prod forward toward some objective I have not clearly defined I can only commit to trying to learn from others and react in the best way possible to the vicissitudes of life that are inevitably going to come my way. The rich tapestry of the world has no beginning or end, no up nor bottom and we are in the thick of it – whether we like it or not.

On Hubris

Hubris fells giants. The quick definitions I pulled for the word hubris are “excessive pride or self-confidence.” and in Greek Tragedies, “excessive pride toward or defiance of the gods, leading to retribution or nemesis.”. Hubris mostly affects people who have had some level of success and luck in life, so in a sense hubris may be a positive sign, but it can also be a premonition that things can change suddenly. An old childhood friend of mine once said that his father, who had achieved financial success, had warned him, “The more you have, the less you should risk”. Coincidentally this person had a dramatic fall from grace and saw his company implode. This taught me that even if you know the lessons and the things you should do, it does not mean you will do them or you will be spared from disaster.

At my ripe old age of 42, I am now starting to see first hand many lives, stories, companies, couples and families that have their ups and downs. Though my own life is certainly going as well as one could hope – family and professionally – I am very aware that hubris and danger are constantly lurking around the corner. One entrepreneur I met at dinner admitted that he had built a nice business in the higher education space and then sold it. He then went on to lose 50% of his earnings in the stock market due to his overconfidence in his own judgement. On this specific topic of the stock market and overconfidence, it should be noted even entrepreneurial giants such as John D. Rockefeller were not immune to losing money in the stock market. Rockefeller was notorious for being tight fisted with his own company, Standard Oil, but failing to do proper due diligence on the companies he invested in – losing substantial amounts of money. His wealth was enormous enough that he could suffer some losses, but many people I have known personally have risked too much of what they had due to hubris.

I deeply believe in operating in a lean manner. At my own company, Nimonik, we employ Lean Principles every day and constantly search out waste that can be eliminated and systems that can be optimized. After 17 years of work, I can assure you there is always waste and sub-par systems to fix. It is a never ending battle that we fight every single day. This principle has allowed us to stay leaner than our competitors and execute five acquisitions and continuously grow the business. As we have grown it has been tempting to get nicer offices, spend money on bigger parties and generally relax a bit. I however try to regularly remind myself and my colleagues that the fact that we run a tight ship is a critical factor in our success. One story I like to tell is how a sailing ship in a long distance sailing race around the world had a skipper who ordered all the crewmates to rip out pages from the books as they read the page. They then had to throw the pages overboard to lighten the ship. Of course, the weight of the pages mattered little, but the daily reminder to stay lean and focused made all the difference.

A cousin of mine asked me this summer what common patterns I saw in people who fell from professional hights and saw trouble after so much success. The short answer is quite simple: these high earners developed a costly lifestyle that required cash flow and then something unexpected and bad happened. It could be a lost job, a family illness, bad luck, or some unforeseen change. Very often, these people had too much debt or leverage and then business slowed, lawsuits mounted or the competitive landscape shifted and they were cooked. The stories I have heard are endless.

In today’s world we spend a great deal of time fixated on the rich and famous. I suspect this is not that different from centuries ago when court gossip and obsession with aristocrats ruled the world. But with social media we are inundated with stores of people who have “made it” and seem inspirational. Even main stream media holds up political or financial leaders as near demi-gods who seem to know so much and can profess their opinions on many topics. Shows like Shark Tank, American Idol and others reinforce this structure. If you dig beneath the hood, the majority of these “experts” have no better luck in picking the winners and losers than a chimpanzee – that is to say, it is random. The glorification of success underpins the hubris that people develop when they do succeed. Fighting this hubris and staying humble requires a constant effort. When people ask me which business leader I most respect, my answer is simple: Chuck Feeney. His biography The Billionaire Who Wasn’t explains,

The Billionaire Who Wasn’t tells the inspiring story of Chuck Feeney, known as the “James Bond of philanthropy.” Feeney made a fortune as founder of Duty Free Shoppers (DFS), the world’s largest duty-free retail chain. By 1988, he was hailed by Forbes magazine as the twenty-third richest American alive.

But secretly Feeney had already transferred all his wealth to his foundation, Atlantic Philanthropies, and anonymously funded hospitals and universities from San Francisco to Limerick to New York to Brisbane, becoming one of the greatest and most mysterious American philanthropists of modern times. His example convinced Bill Gates and Warren Buffett to pledge to give away their fortunes during their lifetimes. 

Chuck had amassed quite a fortune thanks to the profits at DFS and the subsequent sale of the business to LVMH. He had started to accumulate a rich person’s lifestyle with homes in the south of France and elsewhere, but after a revelation he understood that lavish lifestyle was not the path for him and he downsized and started to give away his money anonymously and while he was alive. It should be clear: gave away all of his money (except 40M to his kids) and did so completely and utterly anonymously. No buildings carry his name and no prizes are awarded in his honour. Even his own foundation did not carry his name. He lived in a modest apartment in San Francisco, travelled coach class and wore a simple Casio watch. To me, the anonymity of giving is so critical.

Even in philanthropy, wealthy donors want to put their stamp on buildings and institutions for posterity. There is great hubris in that action. One particularly galling example was the Toronto family of Marco Muzzo who donated money to a local hospital to have their name affixed to it. At the similar time, Marco Muzzo had killed a young family while drunk driving home after returning from a Vegas bachelor party. He killed “four members of the same family, including three young siblings. The Sept. 27, 2015, collision killed three young Neville-Lake children: Daniel, 9, Harrison, 5, and Milly, 2. Their grandfather, Gary Neville, 65, also died in the crash.” The parents were not in the car, but the father of this young family went on to commit suicide out of depression. The shameless attempt by the Muzzos to sanitize their name by sticking it on a hospital is the pinnacle of what is wrong with so much in our world. A lack of shame seems to be the theme of our times and it is inextricably linked to hubris. A lack of shame leads to the confidence that you can get away with anything and it sends a signal to others that you just might. The fact that the hospital accepted to put the Muzzo name on the building seems wrong. The organizations that have placed Muzzo name on the building were all petitioned by thousands of people to remove the names – none did.

Hubris is everywhere, lurking like a silent disease that can take down any person. From a kiss-cam and office affairs to too much debt to safety accidents that could have been prevented, our over-confidence is the root of so many disasters. On of my favourite TED talks is by the monk David Steindl-Rast who explains that the path to happiness is gratefulness. He notes in his talk that every time he turns on a tap and receives fresh clean water, he is grateful. For much of human history safe reliable drinking water was an exception, not the rule. If there is one thing that can combat hubris it is certainly constantly reminding yourself of how lucky we are to be alive, safe from bombs and violence, with access to amazing food and water. Gratefulness, staying lean, avoiding self-aggrandizement, and having shame all seem to be the foundation of combatting hubris. It is a constant effort, but one worth pursuing.

American Memory

As I stood at the hot dog stand at the Tokyo Disneyland theme park with my five year old son, I could not help thinking about my own childhood and my memories of America. Growing up in Montreal, we made nearly weekly trips to northern Vermont where we enjoyed the ski hills and the beautiful hiking trails. At one point, my parents nearly moved us to the US for a job my father was considering. It never happened, but America was ever present as I grew up in the 90s. We made regular trips to Florida, visiting Disneyworld and other places and we of course had friends and family in the US. Growing up in the 90s was special and though I am certain all generations feel nostalgic about the era they grew up in, the 90s was definitely a turning point in history.

With the end of the Soviet Union in the early 90s and the opening up of China, the entire world shifted in a very substantial way. America was the dominant economic and military power in the world with no peer, it felt ebullient. I proudly wore a bathing suit, a sweatshirt and other clothing adorned with the American flag, listened to American music, watched American movies and looked up to the US in many ways. The US was a global power with great influence and power. In the 90s, China was actively engaging with the US as US companies to develop its economy and absorb new technologies. The US was very well respected by the Chinese, many of whom dreamed of sending their children to study at prestigious US universities. US companies opened operations in China, formed joint ventures and start producing more goods and services at lower prices. Big box stores, Costco, Wal-Mart and other low cost retailers came to dominate the landscape in Canada and elsewhere. The US was everywhere all at once.

In addition to the geopolitical changes, the 90s also marked the emergence of the Internet – another revolutionary force in the world. I recall logging onto the internet around 1994 with my loud 14.4 Kbps modem that came to monopolize our home telephone line. Shopping for a new computer at the local electronics store or going to RadioShack were out of body experiences. The future of a global interconnected and peaceful world seemed at hand. In short, growing up in the 90s in North America was awesome.

What came after the 90s is more questionable and I suppose that all generations say that about the period following their childhood when everything seemed glorious and open ended. The turning point may have been 9/11, but that was likely just one day amongst many that led us to where we are today. Like most people who were adults at the time, I vividly recall 9/11. I had just left my house to go to school when the first hijackings had happened. I was sitting in CEGEP, or the equivalent of grade 12 when 9/11 strikes occurred, our teacher told us something horrible and major had just happened in New York. We were called out of class and they setup televisions in the cafeteria, we were then sent home. Prior to 9/11 the border crossing we used in Vermont was a quaint cottage with a one-armed border patrol man (no joke) who asked us where were were going. My family explained we were going skiing and he waived us through without looking at any ID. After 9/11 that all changed and the border crossing is now a large imposing building with barbed wire, fenced off areas, cameras, and a variety of intimidating features.

Sitting here in 2025, it is clear that society has radically changed. A deep seated politics of division is omnipresent, the economy is more challenging for most working class people and technology has invaded every corner of our lives and minutes of our days through the amazing power of the smart phone. Now, AI is driving people to insanity, eliminating jobs and changing entire industries. What comes next is anyone’s guess.

The importance of not planning

Last summer I was travelling in the beautiful Beauce region of Québec, which borders Northern Maine. This rural and agricultural region has a charm that has not been overly damaged by large cottages and the accompanying high end boutiques that go with them. With three young children I am always looking for something where they can expend their energy so they can please fall asleep more easily at night. Though my wife and I are not big planners, we inevitably use cell phones to do research and communicate and share calendar events to keep track of things. In today’s age of constant internet connection and prudent parenting, we inevitably get sucked into a situation where there are few surprises in our daily lives. How I sometimes wish for the days before smart phones and ubiquitous photos and review of every tourist location, trail, restaurant and museum.

As I was driving in Beauce with my two boys I noticed a sign on the side of the road for a hiking trail. With some time to kill and child energy to drain I decided I would stop and have a look. I had no snacks, just a few old candies from the bottom of the glove compartment and I did not research the trails or the site beforehand. We left the car and saw that the trail had a voluntary contribution of $10 or so. Thinking my young kids would not last that long, I skipped the contribution and committed to put some money in the pot if they actually used the trail a bit. My youngest, who was 3 at the time, is not the most energetic walker so my hopes that he would climb a long rocky trail up a small hill were limited at best. The trail started off with some natural play areas for kids – logs and ropes – which kept them occupied for a while. Somehow the boys were willing to leave this play area and start up a trail that we did not really know.

The trick with many of these long walks is to turn the hike into a game with hidden items and a bit of a competition between the kids. We let the younger one lead us up the hill and ensured he felt in charge. I assumed they would go a few hundred meters and insist on turning around. Surprisingly and happily, they kept walking and walking as I turned the dried out candies from the car into ‘energy pills’ that they would periodically take to boost their stamina like a video game character. The trail continued upwards and became rockier and more challenging, but they enjoyed scrambling up the slippery rocks. Based on the maps, the trail made a run up the mountain and then circled the top and came back down. It was maybe a total of 4 KM with 300 M of height. Not much, but a fair bit for kids of their age. As they continued to walk, my fear evolved into a concern the younger one would melt down and request I carry him all the way back to the car. In a certain sense I am kind of ashamed I had so little faith in him.

It was to my surprise and pleasure that we reached the top of the hill without complaining from either kid. My wife called me to ask where we were as we had not returned home as planned. I explained we had reached the top of a rocky hill without jackets, snacks, water bottles or planning or any sort. We would be home in a couple of hours if all went well. The boys started down, running so quickly that their shoes were sending flames behind them. This fun game kept them going without complaining. Upon reaching the car, I put some money in the voluntary contribution and they asked for water, which I did not have.

If I had tried to plan this hike it may never have happened. Even if it has happened, it would have been more tame and less thrilling than the hike without any snacks or research. Like so many things in life, planning can only take you so far and in a certain sense limits the excitement of the unknown. We are told by parents, business gurus and others to plan our days, our weeks, our lives. We should list our goals and then strive to accomplish them with all our might. But sometimes, it is much more pleasant and liberating to have no goals, no to-do list and just the minimal information required to act. Both kids and adults are tougher and more resilient and tougher than we think – we do not need power bars, water, or google reviews to climb up a small hiking trail. Sometimes it is best to just go for it and see what happens. This small hike up this small hill in this small region of Québec with my two small boys was a small and memorable event for us all.

Jane Goodall

Jane Goodall visited my elementary school when I was about 10 years old. Jane Goodall was a pioneer, visionary and soft spoken powerhouse who dedicated her life to conservation and spreading environmentalism.

She had a big impact on me and many of my classmates. The early 90s, when I was in elementary school, was a time of environmental awakening for many of us. Acid Rain, Polluted Rivers, Greenhouse Warming were all emerging topics that changed the way society looks at the natural world.

Years later I would start Nimonik and our initial product was a tool to help organizations understand, comply and stay abreast of Environmental Laws and Regulations. Today, Nimonik offers much more than environmental compliance tools, but my interest in environmental protection can be traced back to a lucky 10 year old boy who heard from a wise woman with a deep expertise in our nearest relatives – the Chimp – and their fragile and threatened ecosystem.

May she rest in peace after her decades of tireless work for the planet, for animals and for all mankind.